Frame Sentence: There are many others who share in my love of......
If you need help, use the above frame sentence to begin or refocus the second segment of your essay.
Be sure the second section addresses: the people or organization concerned with your interest; a trend or development; and a cause for concern.
Finally, eliminate 50% of "to be verbs" on each page; 50% of bland, non-information containing words (words with neutral connotation when you want a word that has a connotation); use active verbs in active tense and not the passive.
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